I love you, Don't kill me!
Each of us go into relationships with high hopes that this relationship will be loving, kind, respectful, and safe. While this is true for some the same can not be said for the 1 in 4 women who have been the victim of domestic abuse.
According to Domesticshelters.org Alarming statistics indicate that, as you read this short sentence, a woman has become the victim of assault. According to the Partnership Against Domestic Violence, every 9 seconds, another woman in the U.S. is beaten.
Every nine seconds.
It’s a sobering reality for one in four women in the U.S. will experience domestic violence in their lifetime, most frequently by someone they know. Female victims most commonly first experience domestic violence between the ages of 18-24 (38.6%), followed by age 11-17 (22.4%) Almost one out of five of murder victims in the U.S. were killed by an intimate partner; women account for two out of three murder victims killed by an intimate partner. nearly three women are murdered every day in the U.S. by current or former romantic partners.
When a woman has been tragically killed, the murderer, if identified, is most likely going to be her spouse or partner. But what is her cause of death called out as? Homicide? Domestic dispute? A fatal gunshot wound? Stabbing? But rarely is it ever called what it really is: Domestic Violence.
A study of intimate partner homicides found that 20% of victims were not the intimate partners themselves, but family members, friends, neighbors, persons who intervened, law enforcement responders, or bystanders. If this doesn't hit home that domestic abuse is just a victims problem, I don't know what will.
72% of all murder-suicides involve an intimate partner; 94% of the victims of these murder suicides are female. How many times have we heard “if I can’t have you, nobody will?” Oftentimes when we know of an individual who threatens things like this we tend to think, oh they are just mad, they wont do anything right?
Let me restate this: 72% of all murder-suicides involve an intimate partner. Is that a number you can sleep with at night if you had even an inkling that it could happen? It is far past time that we stop letting ourselves off the hook by turning a blinds eye out of “oh i didn't think he’d do that.”
When a man murders his girlfriend or wife, that victim has often died as a result of relentless and methodical domestic violence. Which means there has been signs and that the abuse has been going on for a long time.
According to an article on Domesticshelters.org “The omission of this phrase is detrimental, say advocates, because it overlooks the epidemic that takes anywhere between 1,800 and 3,500 women’s lives every year, depending on what homicide statistics you look at. Not to mention those survivors who die over time from health issues caused by the fear and stress of the abuser's tactics. The problem with leaving domestic violence and abuse out of the newspaper articles, the evening news and the current events discussions around the water cooler is that it fails to hold abusers accountable for the totality of their heinous acts” Instead they classify it as a dispute.
A dispute assumes there are two equal parties that have a viable claim for something, When you enter the realm of murder, it enters the criminal realm, you do not have two equal parties. You have an aggressor and you have a victim.
While we can’t stop every one, as an awakened nation and world, we can stop many. Far, far too many people are dying at the hands of their intimate partners while the media and even possibly you are chalking it up to just another Homicide, Domestic dispute, A fatal gunshot wound or a Stabbing in your town. It’s time we start calling it what it is: A domestic violence murder.
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